Searching for Home
A journal entry of short poems and thoughts
Photo credit: Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash
by Anai Akuei
19 NOVEMBER 2020
No title
They say my mother was born in '65
Not even she can tell me if is true
No one has the proof
No wrinkles to measure
The bags under her eyes can only account for how much she’s been tried and the tears she’s held in this lifetime.
Letter to self
Jaam ten xen.
Puoc xen ba yin ben nhiar
Rin xen ci nhom mar, tek ee ke kang ngich
Rin kene ka yin awiech baa pal piny.
A ca wiec ku ba rot loy cit kuoch . . .
Ku yin awiech.
[written in Dinka Rek]
[translated to English]
Speak to me
Teach me how to love you again
Because I forgot, or maybe I never knew
And for that I apologize to you.
But I can no longer pretend . . .
It is you that I crave the most.
No title
Yin nyiec lan yien nga
Wo chiet nge ke menhkeenne
Yiin eya, ping chot baz
Kuka chiet ke thiok
[written in Dinka Bor]
[translated to English]
I know who you are.
We are like siblings
You too hear Khartoum calling
And it seems so near . . .
but we never make it there
Element
The perfect mix of breath, soil and light
I’ll meet you in the next life, with your permission
A shining moment, a best decision
Although we make bad decisions
A taste of heaven, only god could simulate such a presence
To put a name on such a feeling
would be only be restricting
Thank you for bringing my soul home
and filling me with what we know as love.
A Theory
What a talent life is.
All that is seized, is given to another.
If only we could just be . . .
Would Earth be named Heaven?
I’ve tried countless times to imagine a true world as such,
But I cannot create what I have not seen.
This is all I know.
And what I know is, I am here.
I must pay rent for this body
So my soul may have a place to rest
I can chose to make it a home
With every oil that preserves this skin
With every drop of sun, water and energy that keeps all of it running.
I can provide for it words, mirrors, bread and honey
So that she will come to THIS body when she is hungry.
So that my soul is welcomed here
When she needs replenishment
From all that I’ll she has given away in the day
And the days to come.
What a talent life is.
If only we could just be.
ABOUT ANAI
Anai Akuei (she/her) is a South Sudanese vocalist, poet, and model currently based in Chicago. She revisits the truths that she has never questioned in an effort to find home within herself. Anai's first single, "Tongue Tied" featuring Blank Face Villain & Blake Davis, is out now on all platforms.
Follow the Sudani Tsunami on Instagram + Twitter to see what waves she's making.